My recent blog posts have been more emotional than usual.

I suppose that is only natural.

Heartbreak is not easy. Neither is dealing with the collapse of an engagement and future plans, the end of a relationship, or the grief that follows when something you once believed in no longer exists in the same way.

Writing has always been how I make sense of the world. It is how I process joy, uncertainty, loss, and healing.

Believe me, I am moving forward and leaving this chapter behind. At the same time, I have finally found peace and closure.

I have found my peace in believing that what I had with him was all a big lie.

Because in my heart, I cannot fathom how a person who truly loves another could continue building a future and a life without them. In its true meaning and essence of infinity ( ♾️ ).

Because in my heart, when you speak of true love, you fight for it. You do not leave the person you love wondering where they stand. You do not leave them behind while hoping they will understand. You do everything you can to be together, living up to the promises that were made.

Clearly, what we are all witnessing is the complete opposite. Right here. Right now.

It was all simply a lie. Lies upon lies. Lies that made me believe I was loved. Lies that made me believe there was a future. And the most painful part is that I truly believed every word he said. I truly believed it, standing before my mother’s grave.

I believed it with all my heart. And I loved with all my heart and gave my world.

To realise it now that I had believed a prolific liar. And that is how I will remember him from now on.

Nevertheless, this is dunya. Another great deception in itself. So perhaps he fitted into that frame rather well. Deceiving people, living in a deceiving world.

Alhamdulillah. Ala kulli hal.

I believe I am more than capable to handle this heartbreak, and I am in full awareness that at this very moment I am healing.

I will stop to wonder the lingering questions:

• What did I do to deserve this?

• What lesson is Allah swt trying to teach me?

A person who prays, fasts, or speaks about religion is, after all, still a human. They succumb to lies? But how is that contradicting?

A true man of God does not merely speak the words. He lives by them. His actions reflect what he says, let alone the promises he makes.

This conclusion has finally given me peace.

Today, I chose me. I love to see myself moving forward. Embracing the whole experience of Cambridge.

And perhaps that is enough.

Rest for now, my dear heart. 🤍

نسأل الله العافية

I decided to name and intentionally updated the title

‘The End of a Chapter of a Prolific Liar‘

because I truly now realised it was all a big lie.

We ask Allah to keep us grounded, humble before the truth, and sincere in our intentions. May He protect us from masking the words of God (Al-Qur’an) and His Messenger (Hadith), and from becoming a Prolific Liar.

Aameen ya Rabb

آيَةُ الْمُنَافِقِ ثَلَاثٌ: إِذَا حَدَّثَ كَذَبَ، وَإِذَا وَعَدَ أَخْلَفَ، وَإِذَا اؤْتُمِنَ خَانَ

رواه البخاري (33) ومسلم (59)

آيَةُ الْمُنَافِقِ ثَلَاثٌ: إِذَا حَدَّثَ كَذَبَ، وَإِذَا وَعَدَ أَخْلَفَ، وَإِذَا اؤْتُمِنَ خَانَ، وَإِنْ صَامَ وَصَلَّى وَزَعَمَ أَنَّهُ مُسْلِمٌ

رواه مسلم (59)

إِنَّ الصِّدْقَ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْبِرِّ، وَإِنَّ الْبِرَّ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ، وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيَصْدُقُ حَتَّى يُكْتَبَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ صِدِّيقًا، وَإِنَّ الْكَذِبَ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْفُجُورِ، وَإِنَّ الْفُجُورَ يَهْدِي إِلَى النَّارِ، وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيَكْذِبُ حَتَّى يُكْتَبَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَذَّابً

رواه البخاري (6094) ومسلم (2607)

َلا إِيمَانَ لِمَنْ لَا أَمَانَةَ لَهُ، وَلَا دِينَ لِمَنْ لَا عَهْدَ لَهُ

رواه أحمد (12567) وصححه الألباني

There are two places where I can spend hours without noticing the passage of time, bookstores and libraries.

So naturally, one of my stops in Cambridge today was their bookstore.

Among thousands of titles, this particular book caught my attention. Not quite because of the subject matter, but because of the symbol ♾️ on its cover.

I stopped for a moment. Many memories and questions came to mind.

Why did this symbol appear on such a book?

Was there any truth to infinite love truly for the sake of Allah?

Was there any truth in the promises to be together, have children, journey in this dunya, take our shahadah, and to meet again in Jannah, insha’Allah?

Why the blog is responding to my post?

Why and what message does His signs is telling me from this book?

We live in a world where everything is temporary, changing, and passing.

Promises are broken. People change and forget. Beliefs probably shifted at some point. People’s feelings change. But if it was ever true love for His sake, it can hardly change. At least, that is what I believe.

Perhaps the greatest resistance is not against the world, but against the truths what we already know in our hearts.

Perhaps also the resistance to believe that the people you once knew have truly changed. And their resistance to commit because they changed when they have something better.

All things are subject to change when the intention goes astray and not for the sake of Allah.

Except Al-Khaliq.

He alone remains unchanged, Infinite, and Eternal.